Chapter 1

Prologue

1

So, like, one day I was walking around this camp, and this dude with a literal tinfoil cap was all, "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude~," when he started to talk to me. I was all fishy and such but then a thing happened and, pow, it was all gone. I walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked until finally I found a rock left. It wasn't a rock, though, it was actually my evil brother and he wasn't very nice. Some stuff happened, and I'm all, "Woah," but then a vivacious event occurred and I was dead. I was then a lilly in a field of flowers, but I was still dead and squishy. Soon, the birds were singing and I was then inspecting the nostalgic and sticky memories of a person I never met. This person was also dead because he was a skeleton. He had an afro, so he was a great boxer and he was also invisible so he could see all of the tacky things of the night. Things were starting to get moldy at this point, so I entered the ghost town, which was green and fluffy. Squids were very nice at this time of day, so a potato would go quite well with the moon exploding into animal crackers in an incredibly solid way. Not only was I boring, but all the colors of the mega-rainbow were coming out of my tails. Vitamin CD-ROMs were distributed throughout the spotted lambs, and big daddy was shining like a cereal box as he rode into the color printer with his best buddy, a graphing calculator named Tim. Martha then explained to the audience the love dodecahedron while an alter ego was very eager to shift her weight to one side of her feet just as the moon dropped right after the wedding concluded that spice is not a form of government. We apologize for the unconstitutional like-likes that appeared at the breeding grounds in an effort to sweat their existence away, for they were supposed to be t-bone steaks that expel a sharp green gas often used to save lives and watch TV. Charlie was absent, so I became Charlie and the universe was reduced to a datum.

A gasket has been blown.

READY >

I'm tired. Let's go home.

OK > 3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF!

1.1

Universal density reaching critical levels.

"You think NOVA will crack under this pressure? HA!"

Error: Sanity drive corrupted.

"Who needs that any way? As long as I have my power, I will rule!"

404: Globe not found.

"Ha ha ha! Wait, what? WHAT?"

Warning: Total MELTDOWN imminent.

"Bah! This is NOTHING! They will not forget the day that I ruled the WORLD! Nobody can stop me now!"


The WORLD had begun another cycle. History was once again being reborn. The process is almost complete.

1.2

READY >

***INCOMING MESSAGE FROM LANDREW***

MELTDOWN CLOCK > 7

Origin: landrew.33.6792.23.91

RECEIVING MESSAGE > 6

Sorry to give you the bad news, but you've been deceived. You aren't doing what the minds wanted you to do, and you surely won't do it any time soon.

You're not taking me seriously. > 5

I was watching what MARATHON MAN was having you do: 'end the WORLD, save the minds!' And just what or who are you saving them from? And to what end?

IMPACT INEVITABLE > 4

How cliché. You'll find this little rebirth much more exciting.

Things will be no different this time. > 3

I have dev@``~~C#mon#`~ Kel~~B``ou to MELTDOWN: If you win, you complete your mission, and we continue our relationship on friendlier terms in the reborn WORLD. If you lose, the minds die.

OK > 2

Good luck in our little competition. Unlike MARATHON MAN, I show no mercy. Now, do it, or get the minds killed trying...

I will consume everything... > 1

Insanely yours,
Sir Landrew L Sly

TIME END >

0

Gimme a call if y'ever need me.

Bye.

Next Chapter

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